Today my boyfriend and I got into a little fight. It was the first fight in a while. 95% of our relationship is easy and we hardly ever fight, but there is still that other 5% where we fight. One thing I noticed after four years of being with Kris, we are both very stubborn and do not like to admit we are wrong. Neither of us is wrong in this fight and no one is right either. That makes it even more of a fight because I do not want to give in and be the first one to say sorry because my feelings are hurt. On the 4th of July, I got off work at 2, and told Kris that I planned on coming home for the night before I had work at 4pm on Friday. Well, I drive the 2 hours it takes to get back to Royal City, and he tells me he left to go to Mardon to see our friend Jeremy. I was instantly pissed because he knew I was coming home. It had been two weeks since I had found time to come home and see him and my family, but he decides that for the one night I'm home, he wants to leave. Sure I could have gone to where he was, but I really wanted to see my family I have had no time this summer to hang out with them. I was going to get to be in Royal for less than 24 hours, so of course I would want to see my family on the holiday instead of leaving them with my dog (because I wouldn't be able to take her to Mardon) and then going to and seeing a friend who I've seen more than my family recently. I don't think that's a bad reason for turning down Mardon. However, Kris decides he doesn't want to be in Royal for the night. That's totally fine. He can do what he wants and I can do what he wants, but the thing that makes me really really mad is that I get no time off from work this summer because I am a supervisor now and I am taking summer classes. For the last 6 summers of Kris's life, he has been a hay farmer, and for the 4 summers we have been together, I have sacrificed my schedule to go and see him because he works 12 hour days 7 days a week. I understand he has a very demanding job, but for one summer I have a demanding schedule too! So it ticks me off like no other when for the one night in 2 weeks I find time to come home, he leaves. I feel like he doesn't appreciate how often I make my schedule work around his. It's never been fair when he works during the summer. By this I mean that I always go see him and I ask for time off of work so that I can see him whenever he asks me too. I want to know why can't he ever ask for time off and drive to Cheney to see me? Why do I have to be the one that uses my gas, money, and time to drive 2 hours one direction and have him just dip out? It seems really unfair to me and I'm really mad about it. So of course, I do what I always do. I tell him exactly how I'm feeling. One thing I have gotten really good at is telling him the truth about how I feel because for the longest time, I would act mad and expect him to figure out what is wrong, but he never would. So eventually I started telling him exactly how I felt so that it made the fight get over with sooner. However, when I told him I was mad, he didn't get it and thought it was stupid. That made me even more mad! In anger and frustration I told him to stop the swather (because I was riding with him while he swathed alfalfa) jumped out of the tractor and walked the half mile back to my car. I don't even care I only saw him for an hour. Why should I see him just because he wants to see me? Why should I have to feel like I have to be the only one to put effort into taking my time to see him. Well I tell you what, I'm tired of it. From today on, he needs to take one or two days off to come and see me the next time he realizes he misses me. I'm not doing this bullshit again. 4 summers is way too long. I need money this summer just as badly as he does, and with me taking summer classes for the first time ever, there are certain days of the week I have to be in Cheney. So I'm not going to Royal again until he comes to Cheney. He needs to show me that he values the little bit of time we get to see each other, because what just happened doesn't show me he values the little bit of time off I get.
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